Something's bubbling...

There's so many things I want to write about... building an impact movement to get people to want to join, remote working while managing a company, trying to understand what Madeira needs, what co-living communities are like, ideas on how to make intergenerational communities work, repopulating villages based on need, having an awesome team to build culture at work with, the things that wake me up in the middle of the night and then don't let me sleep for hours on end...

But when I open up a new post to create, I stare at a blank page and nothing comes out. Thoughts of self-doubt, of "who wants to read another travel blog" and "but how could I potentially help people with this?" and "why would anyone want to read this?", come up and the project-manager in me suddenly has a visual of an overcomplicated Venn Diagram with 18 circles and I get overwhelmed in trying to figure out where the overlap is. 

So my dear friend, Anna, decided to start a writing group. And here I am following my own suggestion of "maybe just take 5-10 minutes to write your own stuff and see what happens". No pressure. No having to have had to figure out the format, the style, the audience, my voice, the mission. Just start. And maybe the rest will follow (and maybe it won't, and that's ok too!)

I've enjoyed writing this blog in the past and I've enjoyed reading the posts afterwards (even if it's cringeworthy sometimes), so in the end, I am writing for myself :) At the same time, if there's anything you think would be particularly interesting or enjoyable for you to read, please let me know! Please be my muse ;)

The start of NomaD travels

 And this time there were 2.

Seven years after the last post, it's the start of another ride. We packed our stuff, put it in storage, became homeless, and left London. It's been 3 weeks since we got to Spain -- first to the mainland with my mom, then to the Canaries. We helped my mom move home and got to enjoy some beach time and mountain time too. July 5th we headed to Lanzarote where we'll be based for 3 weeks initially. We're working remotely (and taking Fridays off) and will be trying this out for 2 months at which point we'll head back to London for a bit for work stuff and to stay with friends.

Altea beach

Sierra Bernia...that we decided to hike in 33C weather (and eventually gave up and got saved by my mom and her friend)

We've set up our "office" on the balcony overlooking Famara beach. Not.too.shabby. Mondays to Thursdays we work (with some beach/surf time during lunch and after work), and weekends we're exploring Lanzarote. Caleta de Famara is a veeery chill fishermen's village turned surf-town with a few restaurants and bars dotted around alongside the "main road" with surf shops. Small enough where you start recognising the regulars and locals.  

Our "office"

El Golfo coast

Timanfaya Park

Lanzarote itself has such a wild landscape.... something like you'd expect from Mars. In 1773, volcano eruptions covered most of the island leaving some crazy lava-filled terrain. This combined with the island's vast space and dotted white houses (thanks to their beloved architect Manrique's prescribed law) creates stark contrasts between the minimal strong colours. So far we've hiked some lava rock coasts, checked out the Timanfaya (volcano) National Park, and eaten a lot of seafood. And salty wrinkled potatoes.

We'll be in Famara for another couple of weeks and then we're thinking of heading to Fuerteventura and La Palma before back to mainland Europe/UK. Definitely the beginning of an adventure, but we'll see how it goes! I'm sure there'll be ups and downs (and I promise not JUST to share all the beautiful-instagram-worthy pics and moments), but so far it's been off to a good start.

The end of the rollercoaster ride

"Wait, that's it? It's over?"

After the spins and the loop-dee-loops, your heads all in a whirl and your adrenaline is at an all time high, you suddenly coast to the end of the ride. You were kind of hoping for some more free-falls with your friends, but as you see the stop bumper suddenly approach in front of you, reality looms above it: Now what?

You've graduated INSEAD, had an amazing year, but probably aren't ready for this abrupt ending. Those with jobs start to head out of the theme park and head into the real world, while the rest of you get in line for another (perhaps smaller) ride -- called P6. You've found comfort in these people around you and since you have nowhere else to be yet, why not enjoy a few more rides? However, you're riding bumper cars now and with each hit, you're reminded of the real world, your lack of job, and the giant debt hanging over your head. You weren't ready for this. As a fellow INSEAD friend put it, they should offer the psych counseling also AFTER you graduate... to help you prepare for what's to come (or what hasn't happened). 

Expectations changed. At the start of INSEAD, I was expecting to have 5 offers in the bag by P4, just like during Undergrad. Since INSEAD is more impressive than my Undergrad, maybe I'd even have more than 5! Then I met the 13D's during my P2 (their P5) who still didn't have jobs -- maybe they were just being lazy? But they didn't seem worried. Weird. P3 I got the ball rolling in applications. According to my timing, this meant I would have offers by P4. One offer in P4. But it wasn't right for me. Where are the others? Maybe in P5... Nothing in P5. Maybe by graduation? Nope. So this is normal? Alright, I'll give myself 6 months to find something. If nothing by then, I might have to consider moving back home and having mom take care of me :P

They said it will work out -- just have patience, you'll find something. But I'll tell you something: in that period where you DON'T see any opportunities yet and you're calculating how many months you can survive off of the rest of your savings, it's hard to see any silver lining. I couldn't keep crashing at friends' places. I needed something to happen.

Just go for it. My desire for change caused me to become less intimidated. I emailed old job contacts and asked for work. I had nothing to lose, so why not? My lack of intimidation also spilled over into my daily life... I'd "excuse me" the person standing in the walk-side of the escalators, I'd ask people to move into the center of the MRT during rush hour so we could all get on (Singaporeans seem to be silent sufferers for easy fixes like these!), I asked for a discount on our last wireless bill (thank you, Negotiations class). It's surprising how an attitude change like this can make opportunities come flooding in. Four days after the emails, I had a job. 

I'm not saying it will happen that quickly for everybody. I still consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world, so that probably helps. But as I said, it doesn't hurt. Within a year, all my wonderfully talented classmates will be employed and hopefully doing something they love. 

So bring it on, London. I'm excited about this opportunity and maybe even more excited that change is happening. This rollercoaster may have ended, but I'm getting in the front seat of this next ride called Life.

*end corny metaphor*

Oh hey, it's time to figure out your life

Hmm, so it's been a while... So much for the regular updates on how MBA life is going and keeping track of travels. Not that I had expected this when starting this program, but being where I am now, I can't say I'm surprised. The lengthy times of reflections of experiences and foreign travels are now squeezed into subway-zone-outs, rushing from the airport to get to class in time, and reveled in the subconscious of our (minimal) nights' rests. In no way has this diminished my love for travel or my excitement to keep going at this pace, but I do miss having time to reflect. So here it goes.

As before, it's been non-stop. Even now as I write this, my left brain is urging me to read the cases for class tomorrow, follow up club emails, project emails, job emails, life-back-at-home emails, TAXES,... but how about a distraction? Reflection. It's probably important. Or maybe just an excuse.

We're in the midst of recruiting season. This is a time of chaos, anxiety, egos getting hurt, friends feeling envy, and a growing hatred of writing cover letters. Another rollercoaster of emotions -- it's like recruiters are juggling with our feelings, making us feel loved one day, and rejected the next. Moreover, it feels like this "season" has just kind of sprung upon us... how the hell did this happen? What are we doing? It's easy to get caught up in the herd that's running towards you, making you pick up your stride and run the same direction. But do we know what we're running towards? What do we want after this?

Let's not forget what we came here for. Our dreams. Our larger than life ambitions. Sure, we may not get our dream job right away, but let's not get off course. Stay focused. Take steps in the right direction. Know what will make you happy. We've come this far, why not go for it? Idealistic? Sure. But what's the worst that could happen? 

I know what I want. Sort of. At least I know the direction I'm running in ;) To be honest, I blame my assurance partially on the Career Dynamics & Self Assessment course I took (also known as "Group Therapy" or "Crying for Credits"). The reflection assignments helped. I am so sure of what I want, even the powerful consulting herd can't make me change my direction :P. 

The "sort of" part of knowing what I want is tricky though... I realize it must be even a bigger turmoil for those who don't know the overall "want" in the first place. The "sort of" has me questioning HOW I want to get to my end goal and which decisions will be best for that. The more opportunities that arise, the harder the decisions get (#firstworldproblems). I feel like I'm also messing with recruiters' emotions... cheating on them, in a way. Coming off overly optimistic about a position in hopes to be offered it, but then not knowing if it's actually what I want. At least it's a two-way street?

I look forward to the time this chaos subsides. Not necessarily when all of us have jobs (not all of us will when we graduate, but that's ok. We're employable and just holding out for what we WANT), but when more of us find time to reflect and enjoy the time we have left here at INSEAD. It's winding down, guys... we only have a few months left in Utopia and the rest of our lives to figure out what we want and how to get there. It'll all work out. Here's to many more express weekend trips and nights of singing our hearts out and dancing our butts off.

Keeping it real

Last Wednesday I was in London for the Social Impact Trek to meet a bunch of socially minded businesses and with a happy hour at the end of it. This networking event consisted of some of the presenters from throughout the day, social entrepreneur alumni from the ISEP program, and several INSEAD alumni who had social impact connections. The conversations would start out with small talk and usually lead to discussion around social impact, ending with an exchange of business cards. Then one small talk with an alumni stopped me in my tracks. "Did you like INSEAD?" (expecting the usual 'It was the best year of my life' answer).

"Not really. It felt fake."

After the notion of thinking he was a disgruntled person who didn't make the most of his time at INSEAD wore off, something sunk in. With this accelerated lifestyle, where we're trying to accomplish so much in 10 months (absorbing a whole new kind of knowledge, finding our dream job, and establishing meaningful relationships), is it perhaps fake? Many of the alumni at this event didn't necessarily have their dream job (or any job, for that matter) and couldn't really identify whether the knowledge they had was acquired from INSEAD or elsewhere. Most importantly... this made me question the relationships we make here. We so badly WANT to make these connections that will last a lifetime, but never before have I had a social life that has depended on a deadline. Everything we do at INSEAD is based on deadlines -- 2.5 weeks to acquire the knowledge because of finals, 2.5 weeks to establish friendships with those not going to Singapore, 6 months to find a job, 6 months left to make other meaningful friendships/relationships. With the time pressure on, are we being real to the circumstances or just pretending?

A fellow INSEADer told me the other day that he felt "empty". We're on a high coming in, so any time this rollercoaster pauses for just one second, we look down to realize how far off the ground we are and question if this is where we want to be. There are so many expectations we have about our time here (even before we got here), sometimes the reality makes us impatient about whether we've met them yet. Are we trying to force ourselves into a certain expected form of happiness?

In a way it's comforting to know I'm not the only one feeling like this. While the highs are high, any slight dip feels like a low (what's with the rollercoaster metaphor, Nadia??), so on the nights I'm not actively engaging with people and creating those bonding experiences, I can feel alone. And sure, there's fake-ness out there, but I think every one is just trying to cope with this time pressure and handling it in different ways. Mr. "It-felt-fake" probably just didn't give the circumstances a chance (or so I'm going to tell myself).

So I'm choosing to set myself outside of the deadline restrictions. While it looms in front of us, time here is not quantifiable. It seems unfathomable to make great friends in such a short amount of time, but the experiences so far have exceeded expectations to what is possible. While this is not a normal pace, this isn't a normal place. What's important is that in this accelerated lifestyle to not lose sight of who we came here as and just be real. Let our vulnerabilities down a little (what do we have to lose?) and enjoy the ride.

*end cheesiness*

An educational field trip to Lisbon...

This past weekend our "undefeated" rugby team (of 60+ players) were going down to Lisbon for some matches. Having never been to Portugal, I thought I'd tag along as an unofficial cheerleader... except I never made it to the games because I was busy being a tourist (sidetracked, sorry!). I know what you're thinking. "Oh, Nadia, another weekend debauchery trip. Shouldn't you be focusing on your studies?" I did. I learned a lot of business related things this weekend that are applicable to my classes. Here are a few...

Ethics:

• If the bathroom ceiling of your AirBnB property caves in on itself, it is the ethical responsibility to upgrade the guests to an even nicer apartment in an even better location. However, for these said guests to then arbitrage their trip as a "calm and quiet girls trip" when the opposite is true, might not be as ethical...

Organizational Behavior:

• Power of Influence: It only takes one person yelling "GRENADE!" to cause an effect of 90 people seeking shelter under tables in a restaurant
• Group decision making becomes easier when everyone else is in a stupor and will follow like sheep... to the next bar

Accounting:

• The total cash flow of a night in Lisbon needs to be adjusted by Capital Expenses of Alcohol, Cab Rides, Late Night Food, and depreciation of one's own body
• The Balance of your wallet from the night before and the morning after never seem to balance out perfectly. Adjust the statement by including a "Period of No Memory" clause.

Economics:

• There is a segment of people that are less price sensitive to the cost of a ride in the tuk tuks given their valuation of the experience :)
• At some point in the night, girls and boys reach a Nash Equilibrium where they have don't have a benefit by changing their strategies unilaterally... (credit goes to Caitlin for this one)
• Given unlimited Supply of good food, Demand increases until it reaches the equilibrium point of Full Stomachs and Complete Lethargy
• While the demand of Pasteis de Belem is high, it's worth the massive line
  
  

  

  
  

Statistics:

• 
  While the supposed population mean is 29, with a sample size >30, the sudden perceived age seems to be 18-22 (with a 95% confidence interval)
• There is a positive correlation between the time of the night and amount of dance-offs. However, a negative correlation between time of night and amount of cash left in your wallet (and amount of quality sleep)
• The probability of finding 90 people in striped shirts with berets and red scarves is actually quite low, once variables such as Level of Intoxication are factored in

Finance:

• The net value of Bifana at 4am is very great given the discount rate alcohol has on your body.

So there you have it. See? I'm learning.

But seriously, Lisbon was great. Lots of good sights, good food, good people, good times. Also got to hang out with Jon Lu who just happened to  be in Lisbon at the same time for a conference!

Now to start studying for finals...

The beginning of something beautiful

We started with a blank slate. I can't think of many times in life that this happens -- everyone being on the same level, all being equally vulnerable, and having all the power in your control to be the person you want to be with the future you want. I look at my calendar and count the days... Exactly 7 weeks since I walked onto INSEAD's grounds and the doors were opened to a world I had yearned for.

Backtrack to 1-2 weeks earlier. I was scrambling to get all the last minute things done and organized before leaving the wonderful city of Cincinnati, where I had built my personal empire of the life I wanted until then. In Cincinnati, I became a grown up. Here I learned to live on my own, be responsible, get up early enough to make it to work by 8 (usually...), buy my own condo and car, create a business, and proactively make the best friends one could find in this town. And with their amazing help and support, I was able to depart from Cincinnati, albeit in a somewhat disheveled form. I know what you non-Cincinnatians are thinking... "Cincinnati? Really?" Really. I fell in love with my Middle-of-Nowhere City and its people and could not imagine a better past 5 years. Thank you!

Then there was the Trip of Hell. Flying out of Chicago, 7 hour layover in London, flying to Milan, waiting at the bus station for 9 hours, a 15 hour bus ride (with many, many stops) to Paris, and finally the train ride to Fontainebleau. And this all with 100 lbs of luggage. Since joining business school, I've learned about Opportunity Costs. The savings weren't worth it. Neverdoingthatagain. #endfirstworldproblemrant

As for life in Fontainebleau, it's as idyllic as it can get. You know the opening scene to Beauty & the Beast with Belle singing "Little Town"? Sometimes I burst into those lyrics while skipping through the cobblestone streets, passing the bakeries, chocolate shops, butcher, and cheese stores. Men with baguettes, ladies in heels with babystrollers, old people walking their tiny dogs. I live a scenic 35 minute walk away from school. I had considered getting a bike (this is where my old friends will freak out and scream, "HOLY CRAP, NO, NADIA! DON'T DO IT! YOU WILL DIE!"... and you are right. So I decided not to.), but love the walk to remind myself daily of where I'm living and loving it.



School life has been intense. A whole new lifestyle that I've never experienced before. In college, I studied to get by, to pass the test, and the next day I would forget almost everything. I'm here to actually WANT to learn and retain knowledge for a job that I hope I will love. My days are filled with professors with funny accents, trying to find an available Break Out Room to do my homework in (but distracting myself with the internet instead), getting my tea fixes in little paper cups in between classes to help stay awake (I really need to get a reusable bottle...), counting the number of times the German Finance professor says "Hokay!", a spread of class notes I try to organize at my locker, fighting with the printers in the Library, eating delicious cheap cafeteria food (surprisingly, I'm not being sarcastic), becoming loopy after spending hours on homework with my work group, and unwinding at one of the many bars that INSEADers decide to take over.

And then there are the weekends. Time to catch up on work, catch up on sleep, catch up on life outside of INSEAD? Nope. We go to ridiculous parties at chateaus, we go to Oktoberfest in Munich, we go wine tasting in Bordeaux, we go champagne tasting in Champagne, we spend 48 hours at entrepreneurship bootcamps. This life is addictive and I can't stop. And in these 8 weeks, I've been lucky to have had 4 friends come visit me already :)

Only about 9 months of INSEAD are left... I'm already getting sad about that. I feel like I'm on the brink of it all... new friendships, new experiences, new life. Yesterday I committed to going to the Singapore campus for January-July. I know this is what I wanted, but as I was on the application page, I hovered over the "Submit" button for a while. Will my Singapore experience be as great as the one here? It's almost hard to imagine. I've stumbled upon something so beautiful.

Still so many things to do! Lisbon this weekend, exploring more of France, a Social Impact Trek to London, seeing the Northern Lights, maybe a trip to Morocco, Corsica, Egypt, Barcelona... And the homework and tests...

I hope I can stay afloat :)