The end of the rollercoaster ride

"Wait, that's it? It's over?"

After the spins and the loop-dee-loops, your heads all in a whirl and your adrenaline is at an all time high, you suddenly coast to the end of the ride. You were kind of hoping for some more free-falls with your friends, but as you see the stop bumper suddenly approach in front of you, reality looms above it: Now what?

You've graduated INSEAD, had an amazing year, but probably aren't ready for this abrupt ending. Those with jobs start to head out of the theme park and head into the real world, while the rest of you get in line for another (perhaps smaller) ride -- called P6. You've found comfort in these people around you and since you have nowhere else to be yet, why not enjoy a few more rides? However, you're riding bumper cars now and with each hit, you're reminded of the real world, your lack of job, and the giant debt hanging over your head. You weren't ready for this. As a fellow INSEAD friend put it, they should offer the psych counseling also AFTER you graduate... to help you prepare for what's to come (or what hasn't happened). 

Expectations changed. At the start of INSEAD, I was expecting to have 5 offers in the bag by P4, just like during Undergrad. Since INSEAD is more impressive than my Undergrad, maybe I'd even have more than 5! Then I met the 13D's during my P2 (their P5) who still didn't have jobs -- maybe they were just being lazy? But they didn't seem worried. Weird. P3 I got the ball rolling in applications. According to my timing, this meant I would have offers by P4. One offer in P4. But it wasn't right for me. Where are the others? Maybe in P5... Nothing in P5. Maybe by graduation? Nope. So this is normal? Alright, I'll give myself 6 months to find something. If nothing by then, I might have to consider moving back home and having mom take care of me :P

They said it will work out -- just have patience, you'll find something. But I'll tell you something: in that period where you DON'T see any opportunities yet and you're calculating how many months you can survive off of the rest of your savings, it's hard to see any silver lining. I couldn't keep crashing at friends' places. I needed something to happen.

Just go for it. My desire for change caused me to become less intimidated. I emailed old job contacts and asked for work. I had nothing to lose, so why not? My lack of intimidation also spilled over into my daily life... I'd "excuse me" the person standing in the walk-side of the escalators, I'd ask people to move into the center of the MRT during rush hour so we could all get on (Singaporeans seem to be silent sufferers for easy fixes like these!), I asked for a discount on our last wireless bill (thank you, Negotiations class). It's surprising how an attitude change like this can make opportunities come flooding in. Four days after the emails, I had a job. 

I'm not saying it will happen that quickly for everybody. I still consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world, so that probably helps. But as I said, it doesn't hurt. Within a year, all my wonderfully talented classmates will be employed and hopefully doing something they love. 

So bring it on, London. I'm excited about this opportunity and maybe even more excited that change is happening. This rollercoaster may have ended, but I'm getting in the front seat of this next ride called Life.

*end corny metaphor*

Oh hey, it's time to figure out your life

Hmm, so it's been a while... So much for the regular updates on how MBA life is going and keeping track of travels. Not that I had expected this when starting this program, but being where I am now, I can't say I'm surprised. The lengthy times of reflections of experiences and foreign travels are now squeezed into subway-zone-outs, rushing from the airport to get to class in time, and reveled in the subconscious of our (minimal) nights' rests. In no way has this diminished my love for travel or my excitement to keep going at this pace, but I do miss having time to reflect. So here it goes.

As before, it's been non-stop. Even now as I write this, my left brain is urging me to read the cases for class tomorrow, follow up club emails, project emails, job emails, life-back-at-home emails, TAXES,... but how about a distraction? Reflection. It's probably important. Or maybe just an excuse.

We're in the midst of recruiting season. This is a time of chaos, anxiety, egos getting hurt, friends feeling envy, and a growing hatred of writing cover letters. Another rollercoaster of emotions -- it's like recruiters are juggling with our feelings, making us feel loved one day, and rejected the next. Moreover, it feels like this "season" has just kind of sprung upon us... how the hell did this happen? What are we doing? It's easy to get caught up in the herd that's running towards you, making you pick up your stride and run the same direction. But do we know what we're running towards? What do we want after this?

Let's not forget what we came here for. Our dreams. Our larger than life ambitions. Sure, we may not get our dream job right away, but let's not get off course. Stay focused. Take steps in the right direction. Know what will make you happy. We've come this far, why not go for it? Idealistic? Sure. But what's the worst that could happen? 

I know what I want. Sort of. At least I know the direction I'm running in ;) To be honest, I blame my assurance partially on the Career Dynamics & Self Assessment course I took (also known as "Group Therapy" or "Crying for Credits"). The reflection assignments helped. I am so sure of what I want, even the powerful consulting herd can't make me change my direction :P. 

The "sort of" part of knowing what I want is tricky though... I realize it must be even a bigger turmoil for those who don't know the overall "want" in the first place. The "sort of" has me questioning HOW I want to get to my end goal and which decisions will be best for that. The more opportunities that arise, the harder the decisions get (#firstworldproblems). I feel like I'm also messing with recruiters' emotions... cheating on them, in a way. Coming off overly optimistic about a position in hopes to be offered it, but then not knowing if it's actually what I want. At least it's a two-way street?

I look forward to the time this chaos subsides. Not necessarily when all of us have jobs (not all of us will when we graduate, but that's ok. We're employable and just holding out for what we WANT), but when more of us find time to reflect and enjoy the time we have left here at INSEAD. It's winding down, guys... we only have a few months left in Utopia and the rest of our lives to figure out what we want and how to get there. It'll all work out. Here's to many more express weekend trips and nights of singing our hearts out and dancing our butts off.