Last Wednesday I was in London for the Social Impact Trek to meet a bunch of socially minded businesses and with a happy hour at the end of it. This networking event consisted of some of the presenters from throughout the day, social entrepreneur alumni from the ISEP program, and several INSEAD alumni who had social impact connections. The conversations would start out with small talk and usually lead to discussion around social impact, ending with an exchange of business cards. Then one small talk with an alumni stopped me in my tracks. "Did you like INSEAD?" (expecting the usual 'It was the best year of my life' answer).
"Not really. It felt fake."
After the notion of thinking he was a disgruntled person who didn't make the most of his time at INSEAD wore off, something sunk in. With this accelerated lifestyle, where we're trying to accomplish so much in 10 months (absorbing a whole new kind of knowledge, finding our dream job, and establishing meaningful relationships), is it perhaps fake? Many of the alumni at this event didn't necessarily have their dream job (or any job, for that matter) and couldn't really identify whether the knowledge they had was acquired from INSEAD or elsewhere. Most importantly... this made me question the relationships we make here. We so badly WANT to make these connections that will last a lifetime, but never before have I had a social life that has depended on a deadline. Everything we do at INSEAD is based on deadlines -- 2.5 weeks to acquire the knowledge because of finals, 2.5 weeks to establish friendships with those not going to Singapore, 6 months to find a job, 6 months left to make other meaningful friendships/relationships. With the time pressure on, are we being real to the circumstances or just pretending?
A fellow INSEADer told me the other day that he felt "empty". We're on a high coming in, so any time this rollercoaster pauses for just one second, we look down to realize how far off the ground we are and question if this is where we want to be. There are so many expectations we have about our time here (even before we got here), sometimes the reality makes us impatient about whether we've met them yet. Are we trying to force ourselves into a certain expected form of happiness?
In a way it's comforting to know I'm not the only one feeling like this. While the highs are high, any slight dip feels like a low (what's with the rollercoaster metaphor, Nadia??), so on the nights I'm not actively engaging with people and creating those bonding experiences, I can feel alone. And sure, there's fake-ness out there, but I think every one is just trying to cope with this time pressure and handling it in different ways. Mr. "It-felt-fake" probably just didn't give the circumstances a chance (or so I'm going to tell myself).
So I'm choosing to set myself outside of the deadline restrictions. While it looms in front of us, time here is not quantifiable. It seems unfathomable to make great friends in such a short amount of time, but the experiences so far have exceeded expectations to what is possible. While this is not a normal pace, this isn't a normal place. What's important is that in this accelerated lifestyle to not lose sight of who we came here as and just be real. Let our vulnerabilities down a little (what do we have to lose?) and enjoy the ride.
*end cheesiness*
"Not really. It felt fake."
After the notion of thinking he was a disgruntled person who didn't make the most of his time at INSEAD wore off, something sunk in. With this accelerated lifestyle, where we're trying to accomplish so much in 10 months (absorbing a whole new kind of knowledge, finding our dream job, and establishing meaningful relationships), is it perhaps fake? Many of the alumni at this event didn't necessarily have their dream job (or any job, for that matter) and couldn't really identify whether the knowledge they had was acquired from INSEAD or elsewhere. Most importantly... this made me question the relationships we make here. We so badly WANT to make these connections that will last a lifetime, but never before have I had a social life that has depended on a deadline. Everything we do at INSEAD is based on deadlines -- 2.5 weeks to acquire the knowledge because of finals, 2.5 weeks to establish friendships with those not going to Singapore, 6 months to find a job, 6 months left to make other meaningful friendships/relationships. With the time pressure on, are we being real to the circumstances or just pretending?
A fellow INSEADer told me the other day that he felt "empty". We're on a high coming in, so any time this rollercoaster pauses for just one second, we look down to realize how far off the ground we are and question if this is where we want to be. There are so many expectations we have about our time here (even before we got here), sometimes the reality makes us impatient about whether we've met them yet. Are we trying to force ourselves into a certain expected form of happiness?
In a way it's comforting to know I'm not the only one feeling like this. While the highs are high, any slight dip feels like a low (what's with the rollercoaster metaphor, Nadia??), so on the nights I'm not actively engaging with people and creating those bonding experiences, I can feel alone. And sure, there's fake-ness out there, but I think every one is just trying to cope with this time pressure and handling it in different ways. Mr. "It-felt-fake" probably just didn't give the circumstances a chance (or so I'm going to tell myself).
So I'm choosing to set myself outside of the deadline restrictions. While it looms in front of us, time here is not quantifiable. It seems unfathomable to make great friends in such a short amount of time, but the experiences so far have exceeded expectations to what is possible. While this is not a normal pace, this isn't a normal place. What's important is that in this accelerated lifestyle to not lose sight of who we came here as and just be real. Let our vulnerabilities down a little (what do we have to lose?) and enjoy the ride.
*end cheesiness*
